Learning to be myself – Irene’s story

Grief can be lonely. By attending our bereavement together group, connections and friendships have been made.

I came to the first Bereavement Group in Feb 2024 when it first started and attended 8 group meetings.

Being with others experiencing grief, where I could just be me and could express myself without the fear of upsetting others was so valuable. It is not like talking to friends and family, who are involved personally and the fear of me making them worry about me. I felt I had the freedom of expression in the group.

I don’t think I realised at the time how much I had gained from the group, on reflection, there were 4 great benefits for me attending the group:

Making new friends – My Husband and I were a unit and at the time did not need others, as we had each other, the group was ideal for forming new friendships. There are 4 of us who still remain in contact, meeting monthly and regularly contacting each other for support. This was enormous, where else would I have got this from? I have also made 1 very good friend, who I see more frequently, as we live close by to each other.

Group support – everyone was understanding of each other, we were all different, but were all going through the same thing. Everyone was accepting of each other, there were tears, and that was OK. I felt comfortable sharing, without any pressure to do so.

The group taught me that I can just be myself, if I’m not getting something from anything, I do not have to do it. This was validated numerous times by others within the group and the professionals. I was lost as a person and needed verification that I can be “Me”. I joined another group accessing various activities, I wasn’t getting anything out of them and what I learnt from the group was that it was OK to give them up and just be me. “Do what is right for you” was re-iterated every week…. Just be yourself.

Professional support – Although I don’t need the professionals from Hospice at Home now, they taught us that it is OK to be yourself and we now have the skills to support each other as a friendship group. By attending the group the new skills I learnt, have also helped me to support my sister and others in their grief, which is all down to the Hospice at Home professionals. The group helped me long term and I cannot praise them enough.

The group is still ongoing, which is testament in itself and shows the enormous benefit for people. It was a brilliant idea to set the group up.

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For more information about our Bereavement and Family support groups and service, please visit www.hospiceathome.co.uk/about-us/family-support/