Tessa’s Story
Tessa and her Dad, Simon’s Story
This is a love story. About A dad. A friend. A husband. A Legend. A story about a difficult time that was made special in the comfort of home with the things most important to Simon, mainly his family.
Dad was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis in the March of 2020. Being a man who grafted and worked all his life – he continued to do this right up until he couldn’t any longer. Even taking his mobile oxygen tanks with him walking across fields and driving all around his beloved Eden Valley and beyond.
He had to stop working in November 2022. I took him for the final appointment with his consultant where he was then sent home for best supportive care, at home.
I took that wording very seriously. This would be the BEST of the BEST supportive care and I knew I had to involve the right people to help us with this. The support we had from the community teams was invaluable.
Being a district nurse myself I had a lot of knowledge about what we needed putting in place. The last few months we had with dad at home were filled with all things family. Dad was always the chef in our family until he could no longer manage these exhausting tasks. Mum and I took over the cooking. Dad was a lover of Eastern and Asian foods, knowing that I was visiting Manchester he sent me on a trip to one of his favourite Chinese Supermarkets to get supplies for making spring rolls. Dad gave me the recipe for a filling which I made and then we all sat at the table as a family rolling our homemade spring rolls after Dad showing us how, then enjoyed eating them together. We also had a few other birthday celebrations at home in that time and put together an afternoon tea at the table which meant Dad was able to be part of it.
I took some time off work to care for Dad which allowed my mum to continue working. It was when I was thinking about going back to work that Dad agreed for the district nurses to refer him to Hospice at Home. Dad had a few visits from the girls which allowed me to go back to work and mum to focus on her special time to be with him as his wife. They brought us the shampoo caps which were so useful. I was happy to know that the team was involved so that my family could look to them for support and any questions when I wasn’t there.
We enjoyed time with Dad listening to music, watching old films, seeing old friends and just as the spring came along with the bluebells Dad passed away at home on 2nd April 2023 with the love of his life holding his hand and our family there moments after. The times we had with Dad at home were so special and it is something I am so grateful for, that I saw first-hand what a good death looks like.
I have always had an interest in working within palliative care and I was glad to know that losing dad pushed me even further to strive for others to experience special, comfortable and memorable moments in their last months…weeks…days.
When a role came up at Hospice at Home, I felt this was right and have enjoyed working as Deputy Head of Clinical Services since September last year. It is a privilege and a pleasure to get to know our patients and families and see the rewarding work that the nursing team provide on a daily basis. My favourite part of my job is hearing the feedback and stories from families about how the services we are able to provide, have made a difficult time just that little bit easier.